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Learn Networking and Self-Promotion Techniques from a 3-year-old?!
By admin | October 9, 2008
Learn networking from a 3 year old?!
Are you Crazy?
Well, no, not really.
Afterall, 3-year-olds still naturally feel good about themselves and are shameless about asking for what they want.
Of course, not all promoting and networking will turn a prospect into a customer or business partner… In fact, sometimes it can backfire.
However, if you can learn to promote like a 3-year-old, then you will get more clients, more qualified business partners and more life-long-friends than we even know what to do with!
‘Wanna know how?
Okay, so why and how do we “promote like a 3-year-old?”
I mean, come on now, we’re all adults here, right?
We are “Professionals!”
Well, yeah, and that may be part of the problem.
You see, sometimes we let our “professionalism” get in the way of being real people, and then our promotional efforts start going down like the Hindenburg.
So today, I invite you to turn back father-time and look to an age in your past when
you were less cynical, still a self-promoter, and yet a bit more authentic.
Look back to when you were 3… okay, maybe 3 and a 1/2 (or whenever it was that you first learned about sharing…) and bring out the inner child promoter in you!
Let me give you an example using the way my 3-year-old son, Joseph, promotes himself and gets what he wants…
Joseph is a natural-born self-promoter! And he gets results!
Not only is he cute (no bias here, right?!), but he has a sunny personality.
And Joseph assumes that everybody will like him.
Furthermore, he’s “3 and a few months,” which means that he’s now wise enough to know that you don’t go up to somebody and say, “Give me your truck!” and assume that they will.
Rather, that you have to offer something of interest or in return first.
Here’s a typical Joseph-self-promoting and networking moment.
Step 1: He assumes that everybody will like him, and therefore approaches pretty much everybody without hesitation or inhibition.
(Man! Don’t you wish that YOU had that in high school!)
Step 2: He flashes his irresistible smile! You know, a genuine smile. The kind that you give off when you’re laughing about something incredibly funny and cute (as opposed to the kind some people flash when they smile at somebody but don’t mean it).
So, he establishes rapport by showing that “he’s friendly.”
Step 3: He greets them: “Hello Friend!” or “Hello Brown Boy!”
(Okay, I HAVE to explain here: Joseph, remember is 3, and he sometimes refers to people by the color of clothes that they’re wearing when he doesn’t know their names.
(Or until he has established that their “his friend.” )
If they happen to be wearing a blue shirt, it can be confusing-but-fine when he says, “That blue girl…”.
However, you can imagine what other parents think when Joseph walks up to their child and says, “Hi white boy!” or “Do you want to play with me black boy?”
(He’s talking about the color of their shirts, and has no idea that parents of the kids he’s talking to think
he’s being brought up by a racist, biggoted…well, you get the idea.)
And yes, I’m working with him on changing his choice of descriptors…)
In any case, ahem…
Step 4: He notices what they’re doing, and tries to relate it to what he wants to do. In other words, he figures out what might interest them first, order to get what he wants second.
For example,
“Hi friend, I’m playing firefighter- do you want to play with me?”
or
“Hello friend- I have a truck. Would you like to play trucks with me?”
Step 5: If the first way doesn’t work, he tries again, in a new way.
For example,
“Oh, you don’t want to play trucks with me because you’re playing tag with your brother? Okay. Can I play tag with you guys?”
Step 6: If they still don’t want to play, he goes and finds somebody else. Something like, “Okay… I’m going to find a new friend to play with. Maybe we can play later.”
So, what does Joseph and these steps have to do with us “professional adults” and self-promotion?
Lots I tell ya!
Joseph has an incredibly-high “close ratio” when seeking out new friends and creating relationships with the kids who have the big toys on the playground. So, I think that we can learn a thing or two here.
Let’s figure out this process from an adult’s point of view who’s using networking
to promote in order to get more business (find a JV Partner, get a new customer, sell a product, etc.):
Step 1: Be friendly and assume, as Jack Canfield says, that the world is conspiring to make you succeed (rather than approaching people, wearing years of insecure baggage on our sleaves, ready to either slink away at the first sign of defeat or “bully” somebody into talking with us in case they don’t like the real us!)
Step 2: A smile never hurts. Really. A real smile, one that says, “Hi- it’s nice to see you. I’m glad that we’re in the same space together… whether or not we end up doing business together” can really go a long way. Plus, it can make the day of somebody who’s wearing their own years of insecure baggage on their sleeves!
Steps 3 & 4: A Greeting! Something that connects you to the other person long before you ever talk about business. It’s the difference between going up to somebody and saying,
“Hey- give me your truck!”
versus
“Hi- how are you? Wow- Do you like playing at the park? Yeah, me too. I see that you have a truck- what a great truck!
Would you like to see my truck? Maybe we can trade trucks for a little while…”
Or, in adult world, the difference between,
“Hi there! I am God in what I do and who I am, and you need what I have, which is x, y or z! Buy some today or you’re a fool!”
versus
“Hi there. “‘Nice party, eh? What brings you here? Oh, you know so-and-so too? Cool. So, what do you do? Besides having fun, what else are looking to get out of this party? Oh, you want to make more connections to promote your skincare business? Hmm, I know some people who are looking for great affiliate products, so maybe I can help you…”
(This is a good time to ask for their business card, by the way).
(Then, insert more tuned-in chit-chat here)… What do I do? Well, thanks for asking. I (insert what you do here, being sure to talk more about your goals of serving your clients and less about how great you are…).
(This may be a good time to offer your business card, so long as it’s done to give them a way to follow up on something they’re interested in, and not because you’re shoving it in their hands.)
Step 5: If you sense that the connection still hasn’t been made and they’re not yet interested in what you do, you may need to listen more to them in order to find out more about them. What do they really need and want? Where is there a connection between you and the other person?
Find it, and look to connect again based on that commonality.
Step 6: If there’s still no connection, well, some will, some won’t, so what, who’s next?
Yep, that should pretty much do it!
It’s the way a successful little three-year-old I know does it to network and promote himself, and it’s not too far off the mark from some high-end successful adult networkers!
If you’d like some more in-depth tips on how to promote like a pro and connect with anybody from an adult’s point of view (and not only get them to “play” with you, but get them to become life-long friends and business partners,) check out Larry Benet’s “Connectology bootcamp” I’ve learned more about connecting with cool people in a powerful way from this guy than from just about anybody else! From what Larry showed me (and who he introduced me to!) I met and got the opportunity to work with some of the best-of-the-best in the business!
He also has some great free tips and creative ideas on Larry Benet.com, where among other things, you can learn 4 Tips for Making a Lasting Impression
The next time you get stuck, or feel like a dud at your next coctail party or BNI networking event, remember: just think and act like a 3-year old!
Topics: Client Attraction |